Interrogation part 2

In which our mistress gets taught the true meaning of the word excess. 

Story: Interrogation part 2
Author: Torture-Device

That little holiday with Lord Vect was much needed. Where were we? Oh, yes. 

As the good Lord Vect already remarked upon, Torture-Device likes rape. Violent rape.

It is disturbing seeing a mere mon-keigh display such intense interest for something that even in dark eldar society is reserved to a privileged few. It gets even more disturbing when you realize that Cailean and Torturer aren't the only self-insert characters present in this "epic saga". Apart from hangers on to Cailean and Torturer and what can only be described as one-off characters, all the others characters present belong to other members of DevianTART.

Yes, you read that right. Moerchen, Inquisitor Tina, Warlock Devonar and a few others belong to other artists. Their user names are listed in the Artist's Comments of all of the separate parts. We have not remarked on it because of the sheer amount of insanity Lord Vect and I have had to deal with.

But about Inquisitor Tina, because she plays such a huge part in this:

She belongs to an artist named MaKo85, who also happens to be named Tina, if the frontpage of her DevianTART is to be believed. Her style is cartoony, with a fair amount of fan-service, pretty decent anatomy but completely lacking in depth and perspective, for the record. She is unremarkable as far as artists on that website go and the only reason she is remotely popular is no doubt derived from the fact that she is a girl artist who draws boobs and asses willingly to please the predominantly male fandom. At the same time, I cannot bring myself to be too dismissive of her, because she has the good taste to be fascinated with our fair species, Lords and Ladies of the Dark City. You don't often see that in mere humans.

She has also been kind enough to provide a reference sheet for the Lady Inquisitor, which was easily found by sifting through her galleries.

So far, so standard

Apart from the picture being a bit of an info-dump, we get to know that Inquisitor Tina is actually named Amalthea Firenze, that she is a pariah and not a mere untouchable and that she bears a striking resemblance, physically, to her creator.

It is not farfetched guess to think that MaKo85 intended to use the Lady Inquisitor as a self-insert character, perhaps intended for role-playing games, perhaps just for fun.

Bear this in mind as we proceed with recapping this part, because I am pretty certain that Torture-Device did not ask for permission to do the following. 

The second part of Interrogation begins with Torturer being jumped from above by an attack that is revealed to be the dark eldar mentioned way back in Prelude to the Rapture part 1. I won't be mad at you if you don't remember her, because back then she had no name, as WalkingMaelstrom just threw her in and Torture-Device only later decided she needed a name and backstory. 

Aseryth L'Hyel descended upon her target swiftly, as a leaf caught by wind and ripped of a tree branch. In her fall from the Bibliarum dome, she had time to twist and turn her lithe body and find the perfect position for the strike. The wyches scrap-made whip uncoiled itself, the numerous tails curving as she lashed out with it. In another hand she'd readied a ferrocrite splinter, sharp enough to pierce even the hardened, dense Astartes flesh if the appropriate force and angle were applied. Of course, such primitive tools left much more to desire, they couldn't match up with her hydraknive or the Punisher, but, she knew how to use even the barbaric weapons to her advantage. It was, after all, a merit by which her skill was measured. 

 I have a few issues with this, young lady.

You are attacking an Astartes, a confirmed psyker, from above and you let gravity alone do the job instead of springing against him with as much force as possible?

And why a whip? I can understand if you are familiar with the agoniser, but right here it makes little tactical sense.

The right place for that ferrocrite shard is the nape of Torturer's neck. Nothing else. Even Astartes are remarkably easy to kill when you strike them there. 

And punishers? Really? Honey, they went out of fashion a long time ago. They were replaced by klaives. That is quite apart from the fact they were never used in the Arenas, but were reserved for the incubi. Besides, if you are so skilled, the "ferrocrite" shard should be more than enough. 

Does she succeed?

Nope.

It turns out she is supposed to be locked up, but was turned loose by Razorwire (what a surprise!) and that this was something along the lines of the 30th attempt on Torturer's life that she has made. What a useless piece of meat she is.

That is followed by this:

Aseryth pursed her lips, now bluish as blood rushed to her face. Torturer wiped a trail of blood from the corner of her mouth. The xeno witch always brought him much joy, her alien mind both indecipherable yet sometimes so simplistically straightforward in her urges. She was a feast for the eyes - the dispersing shadow, oily slick, but angular, each jutting bone like a concealed weapon beneath the pale, wraith-like skin. 

I don't know if Torture-Device misspelled wych into witch, or if he is actively implying that Aseryth has psychic powers. Of course, every dark eldar has some level of psychic ability, but never enough to manifest in any way. That is something that gets you swiftly killed in the Dark City.

And what does Aseryth actually look like?

I am drawing a blank on what that gun is supposed to be or how it is supposed to work.

How is that any level of pretty? Her ribs are jutting out like knives? Is this one of those perversions of perception that are so typical of the servants of She Who Thirsts? So many questions, so few answers.

As mentioned, Torturer subdues her and then proceeds to do this: 

Torturer rudely pulled her closer, swiped the ruffled strands of her hair back, revealing an intricate scar mark spread all over the base of her skull. Morphing his mask, he lolled out his tongue and licked the marking, allowing it to liven up and pulse in response. Aseryth's body tensed, and as if an invisible, immaterial guillotine suddenly separated her mind from the flesh – now, everything below the neck was in control of another being. 

That is basically what happens. Mercifully, we are spared this, but instead get an info-dump size large on Aseryth's background because showing instead of telling people bold-facedly about a character is for chumps in the world of Rivals Til Death. 

It wasn't the first time the wych tried to assassinate her slaver. For a Kabalite warrior- 

Wait wait wait. 

Aseryth is a wych, correct? She would then have been a member of a Wych Cult, not a Kabal. 

Considering Torture-Device did not get the information about punishers being an incubi-weapon right, why am I even surprised? 

Despite the lengthy info-dump about Aseryth's origins, I am glad it is there, because we are, as mentioned, spared what would otherwise have been an exceedingly lengthy rape-scene. 

"It's the Inquisitor." She said when hours later the Raptor, satisfied and tired, let her crawl away from him. Curling up at his feet, she idly clicked her fingers, trying to return warmth and dexterity to them after all her body had assumed positions not quite fit for live beings. "I want her." 

This leads to some chatting between Torturer and Aseryth, as if him raping her for hours is no big deal and it's just a thing he does. Like begrudging a canine for licking its own balls. 

The scene then shifts. 

Red water was pouring from Torturer's hands. He idly observed as it washed down the dried crimson from his skin. He then methodically repeated the same process with an assortment of blades and catheters, after which arranging them neatly on a tray. Without looking back to his prisoner, he spoke softly.  

"Now that we're through with this, Lady, it's time for the questions, as I initially promised."

He turned to the Inquisitor, her twitching, bloodied body and sighed. He forgot about the pain amp. Unclipping the injector from his belt, he swapped a vial, and, holding the thrashing woman on the stretcher by her face, managed to get a clean shot at her jugular. 

I don't know about you people, but part of me is glad we were spared that torture scene too. It does seem like Torturer is about as forgetful as ever though. 

It is also implied in this, and the previous scene with Aseryth, that Torturer is not wearing his armor while on board the flying pink dildo-ship. Why, I have no fucking clue. Maybe he likes the draft around his nether regions? 

Lastly; injections don't work that way. Injecting something into someone's jugular artery should either kill them or be very hard. I'm voting for the former. 

What then follows is the reason this chapter is roundabout 20 pages long in my printout version. Seven fucking pages of Torturer and Inquisitor Tina exchanging banter and trying to outwit each other. In the hands of any other writer, it would have been tense and sweaty. 

Here, it is only dreary and drawn-out to a ridiculous length. 

 She looked up at him. This was where the real trial started. The moment for which she readied herself and braced, when her will and devotion would be put to the test. Torturer must have wanted something very specific to allow her regain consciousness, to be transformed back from the screaming and thrashing woman into her real self, allow the body to be inhabited by her mind again. Some part of her told her that the Raptor was afraid of that mind, but now, as he slowly paced back and forth it was too hard to tell. 

This is just an example, early on, to show how it goes. Torture-Device keeps stating and re-stating the obvious over and over, padding the scene out as if the letters were down and the story a pillow. 

What we learn is that Torturer is looking for a Beta-level psyker named Rael Haask, that this guy is kept in a high-security Inquisitorial prison-base and that Inquisitor Tina has codes to this place. And that Torturer commands some ten Astartes. 

This takes, as mentioned, seven pages to explain. I'm not talking about mood-building. I am all for that, dearies. But this crosses the boundaries of mood-building and goes into excessive padding. It doesn't help the case that at this point Torture-Device's already spotty English deteriorates further, with run-on sentences starting to become the norm.

And for those of you who still thought that Inquisitor Tina is strong and independent for standing up to Torturer... think again.

"Afraid that he'll come back and ruin it all for you?" Tina feverishly rasped, as she bucked and jerked suddenly. "Once he already did, then why not the second time? After all, you don't learn, warpslave." 

Tina is referring to Moerchen, which makes Torturer initially flip his shit and then point and laugh at her for thinking that the chaplain will come and rescue her like a knight in shining armour. I can agree.

This might not at first glance seem as so very needy of her but trust me, it will get worse as we proceed with these stories. Every single woman in this series, as Lord Vect so delightfully pointed out, exist solely to gawk at the beef-cake men.

Every. Single. One.

You think I am joking?

You wait, dearies. You just wait.

Torturer does calm down a bit, but not before we're given this:

Torturer felt the blood in his veins turn to ice. But he was experienced in dealing with disappointment, and in a few seconds, long seconds in which he considered just destroying the Inquisitor on the spot, calmed down. He's not going to show that her knowledge matters everything, so he shrugged comically.

So, Torturer is experienced in dealing with disappointment? Meaning he is a loser, then? And how does one shrug comically? See what I mean with rapidly deteriorating English?

Torturer's "interrogation" of Inquisitor Tina continues, and he soon realises (after another few pages) that he is getting nowhere. He has called for Malexis.

And what does Space Insano bring? The Lady Inquisitor thinks it's a servitor at first, but...

The thing was human. Paritally. It had been a limbless female torso, crudely affixed on a pair of primitive bare cybernetic steppers similar to Torturer's with the metal frames driven directly into the inflammated and puffed up flesh of her thighs right at the joint. At some places, at her abdomen and around her amputated arms, the machinery that kept her back rigid and her genitals obscenely thrust out, broke through the flesh and stuck out, forming a cylindrical cache running along her spine. It was used to hold a brightly colored container which was connected to numerous catheters – some feeding unknown liquids right into her nipples, others injected to the ports at the back of the creature's shaved head.

Tina saw the healing stitches where the woman's arms once were, the crust of puss around the long stitched slit running along her stomach. The thing's mouth was held open by a grisly contraption, and she noticed, witha twinge of pain in her own jaws, the glistening bare gums, now devoid of teeth. 

It didn't take her much time to figure what the thing had been used for. But as she kept gazing in stupefied terror at the hapless thing, she suddenly crossed eyes with it – and let out a chocked gasp. 

The creature was no servitor. It hadn't been mercifully lobotomized. No, those gray eyes screamed silently, all too aware of what is going on, of itself. Tina had never seen the warp, but after she looked into the eyes of the mutilated girl, she was certain that whatever hell might be there – all fit into the head, the mind of this suffering, shaking and drooling slave- toy. 

Torturer obviously noticed that mute sharing of experience between the two, and his pupils turned nearly hair thin in delight. 

It is a creation worthy of Urien Rakarth. I just can't shake the feeling that Torture-Device wrote this section one-handed. Considering the vast amounts of rape and violence, targeted against women, going on in his gallery; considering that the man is a self-acclaimed fan of ero-guro, it is not beyond reasonable that he fapped to this.

I would have been fine, but creeped out, with this alone, but our intrepid Russian decides to drag it out for another 3 pages, having Torturer and Malexis taunt and threaten Lady Inquisitor Tina with this fate all the while.

Remember also that Inquisitor Tina is not Torture-Device's creation, but MaKo85's.

Considering she must have consented to our two authors' endeavour in using her character, how did she react to seeing this happening to her self-insert?

Seriously tho, story or not, I'm not gonna get giddy over having my character tortured. 

A sentiment one can agree with. Torture-Device replied with a large block of text about how it is not all going to be sunshine and cupcakes in the world of Warhammer 40'000, and although he has a point, the trouble is that it happened to someone else's character, and I am pretty damn certain he did not ask for permission to do this.

Here's a fun little question you can entertain yourselves with:

If the Lady Inquisitor Tina (I will continue to call her that, as that is what they name her in the story) had instead been Lord Inquisitor Tim, would he
a) have been holding out for some brave Space Marine or Sister of Battle to come save him? And
b) would he have been threatened with being turned into a sex-doll by the slaves of She Who Thirsts?

Knowing our two misogynistic authors, my answer to both questions would be a resounding no, because
a) he's a MAN! And
b) that'd be gay.

It makes me wonder what another artist, TyrantWache, thought of what WalkingMaelstrom did to Chaplain Moerchen. TyrantWache is also a female artist, I should mention.

Remember though, that Torturer wants information from the Lady Inquisitor and if he turns her into a sex-slave doll, he's not going to get it. So, the terrified Inquisitor, after 3 pages of deliberation, finally caves in and decides to give Torturer the codes to the prison facility.

In return, he releases her, unharmed.

Why?

Then, mid-sentence, the paradoxical cruelty of Torturer's offer dawned upon her. She imagined herself, contacting the nearest Ordo detachment – bloodied, covered in scars, with traces of heretical drugs contaminatingher bloodstream. She imagined telling Sobek and other Lords how a Chaos Raptor, of all creatures, let her free from the deck of his ship... What would they think? It was inexplicable, unimaginable. Inquisitors don't go free from the clutches of heretical murderers – unless they themselves become their agents. The Inquisitor has no chance of seeing the daylight when captured by the archenemy, so how would she explain it? How would she make them believe her, convince that she escaped, and not sent in as a spy, corrupted and turncoat? She could see the trial already, herself burning at the stake under the accusing glares of her ex- colleagues: their eyes cold, condemning, reeking of disappointment and betrayal. 

That's what Torturer wants, she thought, he wants me to be a Cassandra of the old Terran legend. He wants me to warn the Inquisition of his plans, but know how they'll refute them whilst I get checked, tried in the High Court, blamed, sentenced and maybe even executed. 

One thing that has not changed throughout this entire part, and that is fast becoming a hallmark of Torture-Device's writing is his ability to keep stating the fucking obvious.

Later, Torturer watched as the dark speck of the disposable shuttle that was launched from the Engine of Obscenity, glowed red against the bright blue atmosphere of the planet they hovered over on orbit. The titanic disc blotted out most of the view from the command room, and soon it swallowed the shuttle, not a trace left as it descended lower. He chose a low civilized world on the rim of the Obscurus, one with planetary defense too primitive and scattered to pose a threat. He licked his artificial jaws. 

"Shamefully our rendezvous was way too quick for my liking, Inquisitor. Your pain had been the most enjoyable... But this outcome will bring you more pain, more torment that I with my instruments can deliver to that defiant personality of yours. Too bad you don't know how high of a price I would've paid to watch you go through what's coming up. I guess that would make up for it all." 

And that is how this amazingly fucked up part ends. It does leave me with even more questions, such as:

• How often is a "low civilized" world visited by Imperial officials, if it doesn't even have a decent Orbital Defence Force? 
• Considering the lack of ODF, what are the odds that the planet has communications facilities for her to regain contact with Imperial authorities? 
• How long was Lady Inquisitor Tina captive, by the way? There is no indicator of time, any where. 

_________________________________

Everything in this chapter is excessive. The length. The telling of obvious fucking details. The mind-rape.

Every-fucking-thing.

The part could easily have been half as long and just as effective. As it stands, it is just drawn out money-shots with horrible English.

I took a look at the Artist's Comments for this part as well. I found this:

Text is raw, will fix after more parts are uploaded. This story is written in a more dynamic, action-prose style. 

Lies. Lies and slander. The text is still raw, it has not been fixed in the nearly one and a half years it has been up, and it is not dynamic and "action-prose" in its style.

It is clunky, excessive and slow!

I leave you to the tender mercies of Lord Vect, as I once again take to the Arenas. That holiday brought in a nice new slew of Space Marines. I intend to put them through the paces.

Stay sharp, dearies!

//L//

Interrogation pt. 1

In which the unwavering Supreme Overlord witnesses the foulest acts of depravity he has seen from space marines yet...

Story: Interrogation part 1
Author: Torture-Device

Torture-Device is quite like a Russian version of that one bad man in Mel Brooks's Blazing Saddles.

He likes rape. He likes rape a lot.

Quite a lot of Torture-Device's artwork centers around rape, actually; rape and the denigration of the opposite sex. A walk through his gallery is a tantalizing exploration of gory breasts and savagely violated slits both natural and man-made.

Therefore, it only makes sense that Torturer be a projection of his fetishes.

And you'll recall that Torturer currently has the Lady Inquisitor in captivity.

I like where this is going.

The wait was maddening.

Actually, this perfectly describes the entirety of this part. It is absolutely maddening how long we wait for anything at all to occur. The pacing falls off the edge of the world to places I cannot accurately describe.

But Interrogation, pt. 1 starts off with Inquisitor Tina sitting in a cell waiting to be raped viciously and repeatedly by her degenerate host. The entire time she sits there, she is also wordily reflecting (with no regard for grammar) on how hopeless her situation is.

Then Torturer shows up.

Oh, YES, Dad!

 He is, apparently naked, which drums up a large quantity of unpleasant imagery. Malexis has come with him, and together the two begin to harass and tease the inquisitor.

It should be noted that suddenly Torturer becomes highly refined in the way he speaks, as does Malexis, and the two begin discussing etiquette. Somewhere along the lines, Malexis apparently has a heart-attack:

"My Lord, you really have no idea of etiquette. I can vouch that our noble Inquisitor is used to the most he-eeeh, refined customs."

So this continues for a while and we get a description of Torturer's naked, shriveled corpse-like form. Torture-Device appears to have taken a stance on the eternal debate of whether or not Space Marines have penises.

Guess where he stands.

In the midst of Torturer's bodily description (possibly as a result of "simbionite"), my word processor alerted me that there were "too many errors to process in the document" and promptly closed itself, and while this was an unfortunate occurrence the next scene had a far worse effect on my person.

It seems Torture-Device is padding this down as much as he possibly can in some desperate effort to lengthen our suffering, going so far as to give us a detailed description of Moerchen's "tough, battle hardened skin" that leaves me wondering when the sex flashback happens.

After that, however, we move from the frying pan to the blast furnace.

"When I just joined the Host, I voluntarily subjected myself to some ah… experiments? I needed it, to prove my devotion to the cause. Can you guess what they were?"

"They experimented on your cock!"

Back on the topic of your bad English.

"You shouldn't ask such dirty questions, my Lord… She's young, and innocent. Well, not so young, but juvenant sometimes works on the soul too…"

"But she has no soul, quite pitifully – I'm sure it would have complimented her body, twisting them into the perfect amalgam of womanhood.  Also, the drugs are working flawlessly, Malexis. I can barely feel the null backlash – it's even oddly pleasing, this discomfort.  Anyway. We always have problem, numbers! Not enough people to carry the will of the Gods. We tried… we tried to see if it were able to transfer the geneseed in a natural way."

Torturer let out a short chuckle and shook his head, evidently bemused at the recollection of his own naiveté.

"We wanted to see if it was possible to rewrite the geneseed code right into a infant, a fetus. If we – and I too – could make a woman bear a child, pass on our genes. If we could impregnate women with babies that would be true Astartes from the start. But we failed in that."

We shall simply have to start speaking only in memes here-on out.

"Sure, we violated many strong, beautiful women. But the things that were born – oh, heh, they quite differed from Astartes. And people. They came to the light through gnawing their mothers' wombs and then dying from constant hunger. Such a joyous sight, to see them crawl out of the bloody gashes…"

Torturers eyes glazed over as he'd given himself off to the memories.

 What the flying fuck did I just read? I suppose the action itself isn't breaking canon or anything since they experimented to be able to do that, but space marines/impregnation/child-development/birthing do not work that way!

Anyway, Inquisitor Tina informs Torturer at this point she is sterile to begin with. But if she's sterile, why not just make her non-sterile? I mean, we've established you can apparently make space marines able to create baby space marines with all of their implants despite all of the Emperor's failure to to do just that.

So, Torturer begins interrogating Tina, leaving us to transition to-

There was something off in the air. The minute the young Epistolary walked in the Chamber, Chief Librarian Dinotus sensed a disturbance in his surroundings. It wasn't anything particularly threatening or dark, but the moment Cailean bowed down on one knee before him,  Dinotus realized what it was.

Oh fucking hell, we're back to Cailean.

Dinotus (the pedophile of a chief librarian, recall) begins to try to access the epistolary's mood, but Cailean refuses to submit to his psychic bad-touch.

Surely, Dinotus could've broke through it like a Dreadnought through an unarmed croud, smashing all the defenses, but… It would do more harm, traumatize the mind of the Epistolary even more. There were already cracks in that wall, and Dinotus felt the bitterness that seeped out of them.

 You mean to tell me that the chief librarian of this chapter acknowledges Cailean has serious problems? You don't just let him live, then! Space marines should be immune to trauma, if they begin suffering from it then that means the hypnodoctrination process is not working.

Dinotus questions whether Cailean is coping with these bad feelings or not, but Cailean dismisses it and inwardly says, (no joke) "You weren't there!"

So despite the awkwardly tense situation broken up by more poor grammar, the two go for a walk together down a hall of statues to fallen battle brothers.

"What you don't see, is that they are dead because they were defeated." Dinotus pointed out to another statue. "Marcus Nurro, killed by a Carnifex on MacRagge, when we helped the Ultramarines. Not before he'd blown the creature's head off. "

 The only message I really get from this is that Torture-Device thinks Macragge is a Scottish clan name.

There can be only ONE Chief Librarian!

Because Dinotus is too much of a pathetic pussy to fry Cailean's brain, or at least slap his arrogant face around, he instead meekly tries to reason that the Chapter needs to know why he did the things he did. Amusingly, Dinotus also gets away with calling a 250-year-old marine a child.

This goes on for another page, Cailean ranting with such evident insanity it's boggling that he has not been zapped beforehand. Dinotus then finishes the part with this very anti-climactic warning for his babyish student:

"But what you need to realize, is this. If you kill that heretic, and everyone else, your battle brothers, Inquisitiorial henchmen and even the xenos would lie dead as you conduct the Emperor's punishment upon that abomination – it wouldn't be victory."

 ---~~~---

Something has been nagging at me for a long while about these two twisted gentlemen and their stories.

When one looks at the comments of these pieces, at least early-on, they see dozens of "good job!" statements from apparent nobodies, but occasionally completely non-sequitur remarks from apparent friends of the authors (I think these two really insult the term). Lelith and I got to looking at these people, recently, after we got back from our little pleasure trip down the Khaïdes (pleasurable indeed it was, my sweet dancer of death).

Lo and behold, dear Lelith did find something most interesting.

"What, then?" you might ask. That, I reply, is hers to say. I have an appointment with the Fellatio Friends.

Toodles, dear readers!

- V.

Retaliation part 3

In which our Mistress gets acquainted with a seriously mopey servant of She Who Thirsts and sees the eldarith language butchered. 


Story: Retaliation part 3
Author: torture-device

There is precious little that I can add to what my dear Lord Vect already mentioned in the last part. I am however glad to see him back in spirits after that last bout. It is always disheartening to see him so desiccated as he was then, utterly drained of essence and looking very old indeed. 

I fancy my last tour in the arena with those beady-eyed Astartes of the Emperor's Children served some ways to reinvigorate him. 

And speaking of which. 

As Lord Vect has remarked upon, one of the main problems with torture-device taking up the reins after WalkingMaelstrom is, apart from his atrocious English, the fact that we have what TVTropes describes as Mood Whiplash. 

We've shifted from the over-the-top violence and anime influences of WalkingMaelstrom's writing (though I am loathe to call it that) to something that bears more semblance to H.P Lovecraft and Frank Herbert. And small wonder, as at least one of those authors are listed as torture-devices influences on his DevianTART frontpage. He also lists an "A. Hitler", for the record. 

The story begins with Torturer being decapitated. Before you rejoice, remember that he went into trance last episode and that this is all happening in dreamland. The first page is quite well-written, and I started off thinking we could leave this series alone for a while. 

I guess that is the reason I am a gladiator and not an Archon. 

Then, he saw it. A humongous pile of rotting human heads, a pyramid half-drowned in the putrid mud. They were still talking, still whispering with severed voice chords, and the Raptor saw how those contracted on the neck stumps. Bluish, bloated, they all merged into a rhythmical groaning of despair and defeat. He tried to say something, to test if he too had the strange ability to talk, but... 

The whole scene is ruined by the use of the word "humongous". And the typos, which were absent for half a page and then start to flock in on us like carrion birds. 

He actually chats a bit with the thing that decapitated him before the scene shifts to one of battle. Torturer looks dumbly at what is going on and that earns him a swift blade in the gut. He then wakes up. 

We're back on board the Engine of Obscenity, Torturer's flying pink dildo with the never-ending rave party on board. Torturer tries to explain his visions to Zekkel, who replies while channelling Yoda. 

"You shouldn't be interpreting any visions as a decision of the Powers, no. Those areas? Closed from the mortal minds, they are, one cannot peek into those no matter their aptitude, not at all. Messages, direction, warnings? Yes, that'd be correct and wise, right?" 

"Good, serving Slaanesh is , yes? Hmmm?

Torturer then mentions having seen an Asur. This has me puzzled. By the description, he was clearly killed by some Howling Banshee, not a Dire Avenger. Unless it was an Exarch, as they are sometimes referred to as Children of Asur. 

Don't tell me torture-device thinks Asur is the name for Craftworld Eldar? 

Asur is an old name for the dead god Asuryan, which the flaccid Craftworlders still cling to like a babe to its mother's teats. Asur never was a name given to the Eldar as a species. It is actually the name for High Elves in Warhammer Fantasy. 

Either way, this gets Torturer down, and he sits and mopes about not being the best and not being the most special of snowflakes. 

This goes on for nearly a page. 

Then Zekkel does this: 

He struck a dramatic pose, a tattooed finger outstretched to the ceiling. 

"You're being all wrong, my Lord! Don't believe in yourself, no, don't! Believe in Slaanesh that believes in you! Remember the times when it was only by the favor of the Dark Prince that we've been left among the living! Hepathx, Murgos Prime, the attack of the Dark Reapers, doesn't ring to you?" 

I think we just had another mood whiplash, as this reminds me of Mighty Guy and his over-blown poses and proclamations of "the power of youth!". 

Accurate depiction of Zekkel.

They are then interrupted (I guess with Zekkel still in his silly pose) by a servitor who announces that a "demo" of something is ready. What this is, is not elaborated on. 

Before they leave, Torturer suddenly remembers that he has something to give to Zekkel. 

As the thin slice of light was erased from the floor, the Raptor jolted up, as if bitten. 

"I've almost forgot, Brother Demagogue... I've managed to salvage a gift for you from the din of the battle and hadn't since remembered to hand it to the rightful owner! Thought you'd appreciate the gesture. It's in my shrine. Take it, tell me what you think." 

Zekkel bowed reverently, and approached the in-built shrine in the west corner of the Chamber, his left bionic foot clanking awkwardly as he moved.  The tattooed demagogue took note of how unkempt the portal was – Torturer had dumped all that he deemed as a trophy upon the ivory carved shelves and reliefs in total disarray. A few Astartes helmets lied at the feet of the 4 meter high statue of the Secret Keeper, and the ornate cups that the sculpture had held in its many appendages were brimming with skulls, pieces of jewelry and dried skins. But then he saw it, what his Lord meant, and took it from the clasp of Keeper. He immediately recognized it.  Zekkel looked at the Raptor, sprawled in the still open hypnosleep capsule, his face showing off respect and immense gratitude. 

I just love how this entire scene is basically pulled out of the author's ass, as it uses the "Oh, I forgot!" trope once again. 

What is this gift? It's the Crozius Arcanum of Chaplain Moerchen! This begs the question of when the fuck Torturer managed to grab that, as they had to beat a somewhat hasty retreat from Grexx. It just reeks of late addition, so that Zekkel has a new weapon. That in turn begs the further question of when Inquisitor Fey managed to break it, because I sure as shit can't remember. 

This is a common problem with this series, by the way. It is so utterly forgettable, the actions of the characters amounting to nothing, that all they do is eventually irrelevant, even when you do try to remember as much as possible. 

Zekkel gives the crozius a few swings and comments on the "perfect balance" of it. There was an actual echo in my chambers as I laughed at that. It sounded something like this: 

It's like when people talk of perfectly balanced chainswords. There is no such thing. A blunt, bludgeoning weapon like a crozius, which is essentially a large mace, cannot by its very function be balanced. 

We end the scene on Torturer sitting and thinking about how he's going to have further revenge on Moerchen by defiling Inquisitor Fey, showing us exactly how petty and small-minded he is. 

We next go to what I think is on board an Eldar vessel, as that is how it is described to us. We get a lengthy description of how Warlock Devonar positively loathes human beings (who doesn't?) but he doesn't have much choice but to co-operate with the smelly apes. During this, torture-device thinks it is a good idea to intersperse his spotty English with Eldarain, a language he knows even less about. 

The smell reeked of corruption and degradation, and as he closely watched the trio of Space Marines, he couldn't find in them that pillar of nobility they claimed to uphold. Yes, they were big, mighty and apparently quite determined – but, unlike some of the more radical and younger  of Asur, who, in various ways implied that the alliance with the so-called "Imperium of man" was a necessary action if for a time, he never truly believed that the mon'keigh's power could make a difference. At least not to the point where it could be compared with the might of his people.  What could they give them, what kind of asset, if not atherakhia and death lying in their wake? 

 Atherakia translates into English as destruction. Why not just use that word? 

The Astartes file in and sit down, with Haruch the medic whispering the following to Cailean: 

"They've put Moerchen in their stasis-type pod, I've seen it. Looks like he's alive, and they've helped to mend his limb. Not bad for xenos, eh?  I also voxed to the Stormtroopers, Xin's people will help transfer it to their camp, and then "Lux et Veritas" will send a Hawk down to take him and us home." 

Hang on, apparently they are still on the surface of Grexx?  They speak of sending a transport down to get them, after all? And Moerchen survived daemonic possession against all the odds? Great. So, why hasn't Cailean been tended to by a medic yet? There has been no indication of him having received medical attention, despite falling off an air-borne Thunderhawk gunship and then being blown through the air after the daemonic exorcism. 

Apparently his mental fatigue from before is gone as well, seeing as he attempts to pry at the warlock's mind without his psychic hood blowing out. Devonar shrugs him off and greets them instead in what I find a hilarious display of swallowed pride. 

"I greet you aboard the "Song of Vengeance", Aestartes. It is..." As the Warlock rose from his seat, he felt a certain reluctance in uttering the following words. "A great honor. Warriors to warriors – our hospitality is yours to enjoy, our minds – yours to consult with." 

So, they are on board a ship, that is on the surface of Grexx? How is that possible? You know what, I give up, because I find myself sympathising more and more with this kitten: 

Their ship has also gotten into the Imperial system of Grexx without being noticed. See, with Eldar, I do not question it as we have the technology, but it still begs far too many questions for comfort. 

What follows are quite a few pages of tedious info-dump. It is essentially the attempt at a plot beyond Cailean and Torturer having a galactic dick-waving competition. 

It boils down to that Torturer raided an Eldar vessel full of "refugees" some "10 standard cycles ago". How much is a standard cycle? I don't know. A revolution of the galaxy? A standard Terran year? The expected life-span of an Eldar in the Materium? 

It is interesting to note that as Eldar are often perceived (wrongly) as weak and effeminate by the mon-keigh, that in these stories they, just like women, are made out as victims and very seldom anything else. It's a bit of a theme. What Torturer wanted from the Eldar is revealed to be the Bonesinger on board, and it is shown that he also speaks the Eldar language. I can only guess that he is a bad at it as his creator. 

The sequence also shows off Cailean as quite a dim bulb. 

Devonar once again listened to the slave of Whom that Thirsts distort the blessed words of Asur. Each syllable raked against his mind, every word uttered – an insult that couldn't be forgiven. 

"He's not talking in Gothic, is he?" The Epistolary inquired. 

No shit, you idiot? If it doesn't sound like Gothic, it probably isn't Gothic! And torture-device continues to refer to the language and the species as Asur. 

But it makes me wonder where in the hell Torturer learned the language in the first place? I hardly think he'd be able to pry much out of his Eldar sex slaves, as he seems to either kill them or fuck them senseless and then kill them. 

The summary of the brief is that Torturer and his band has been raiding Eldar "refugee ships" for some time, stealing information from their databanks (torture-device is not familiar with the concept of encryption, it seems) and kidnapping Bonesingers. What for, Devonar doesn't know. 

Then we're treated to this gem: 

Cailean was no fool. He knew that his battle brothers and superiors often viewed him more as a warrior, not a tactician, but it was just that he preferred to keep that part of his personality to himself,  never emphasizing the depth of insight into many matters he possessed. The Warlock made the same mistake of judging him as a brute. 

The reason people think Cailean a fool is because he acts like one. Telling us he isn't one is not going to help his situation if what we're shown is the complete opposite! 

The tedious back and forth continues, with it being implied that Craftworld Ulthwé has limited resources. 

I don't know about you, but a craftworld that willingly stands in the way of the servants of She Who Thirsts and openly challenges the Chosen of the Dark Gods, is not a craftworld with limited resources. 

The further implication is also that Craftworld Ulthwé hasn't got the means to handle one measly little warband of Chaos Space Marines. They went toe-to-toe with Abaddon the Despoiler, and can't handle Torturer? And the only ones who can help them are the Imperial Paladins, lead by Cailean, and not Chapter Master Quintus, mind! 

No further proof of these two characters being massive Gary-Stus is needed. 

The group come to some sort of conclusion, in that the Imperial Paladins will help the Eldar of Craftworld Ulthwé with a crusade. What exactly they plan on doing, is left to guess-work, as the scene finally fades out at that. 

We fade-in again to see the Space Marines walking back to their waiting Thunderhawk, and during which, Veridus (or was it Verdius?) questions Cailean's cold-hearted killing of their only witnesses and leads in the last part and gets promptly slapped across the face for it. I don't know about you, but I think Cailean might be insane: 

The Librarian focused on his armored fist, the knuckles nearly splattered with tiny blood drops. How easy it is, to hurt and harm, he mused detachedly, when the truth is on your side. How wonderfully delightful to fix errors and mistakes, and what precision it takes. Veridus has to learn conduct, and it won't come at an easy price. But the Epistolary tried not to acknowledge the images that flashed in his head a split part of a second before he smacked the insolent marine, images that hadn't anything to do with his orders to maintain hierarchy and discipline. He could've hit harder, let his arm pass through the defenseless muscle and bone like a rock thrown from a  primitive sling and watch Veridus's surprised expression before it explodes in bits of gore... 

The best part is that Veridus accepts his bitch-slapping and admits he did something wrong. So, questioning the soundness of mind of your superior officer, when it is obvious your sergeant somewhat agrees with you, is now insolence? I understand that one must maintain discipline, but there is a time and place for everything. 

This was not the place for a pimp hand. 

And then the part ends. 

_________________________________________

This part was essentially about Torturer tripping out and moping about it, as well as it was about Cailean meeting with some snot-faced warlock. Not much happened, really. 

Makes me wonder where the retaliation we were promised went? 

With that, I leave you to the tender mercies of Lord Vect once more. 

I'm off to see if I can find some new slaves to try out new techniques on. That comment about the crozius made me want to practice my own skills with a mace. 

//L

Retaliation part 2

In which the enduring Supreme Overlord is shocked by enormous, spontaneous mood-swings...


Story: Retaliation part 2
Author: Torture-Device

You may, dear reader, find all of this very amusing. I am somewhat inclined to agree.

It takes a certain determination to make an end-product from this, to sift through a pile of mud and feces and pluck out diamonds. It can be most wearisome. But there is still amusement to be had at the deeper things one finds.

For instance, this Torture-Device fellow.

Sweet Lelith already mentioned that he is supposedly a journalist. Also that he is Russian.

To the man's credit, he's never really "exploded" at criticism of his art, mainly because the only people who generally comment negatively on his paintings or drawings are the ones who connect his ideology to his creativity (Occasionally a fair connection, but not always). Nearly every other person who comments on his stuff is one of many lame-brained well-wishers who flock to him like lambs.

Seriously, just look at these.

A couple good, independent artists, some of whom share his interesting ideas on life, and of them a handful comment on the picture as a piece of art and discuss its merits and weaknesses.

Then a million other "OMGSOBEAUTIFUL" comments from people with hastily-made flashing swastika icons.

When you look at the comments on Retaliation part 1, it's the exact same babble. The very first comment is, "Oh snap son, epic stuff right here 83 <3". Nobody says a word about the writing itself. The most critically inclined comments run along the lines of "I like this character" or "He reminds me of this guy..."

Torture-Device is viciously active in the deviantart forums, and many of the people who watch him do so only because he is one of the more unique performing jesters there, not because he's a decent artist, and the comments on his artwork reflect this.

Torture-device insists on speaking English and writing stories in English, but he's fucking horrible at it. He is completely forgettable when it comes to nuances such as grammar and plot structure.

And I assure you, the plots he works out with WalkingMaelstrom suggest he can't think things through before he sits down and starts slamming against a keyboard.

The main reason that I ever even heard of this series was because I came across this picture right here:

I get off to the sight of craftworlders being violated.

And here, we see Torturer raping a couple of aspect warriors like it's no big deal. He looks like he's enjoying himself in his depravity. But this is, unfortunately, a far-cry from the Torturer he writes about.

Why do I bring this up?

Look at the picture of Torturer in the title-card, then compare it to Torture-Device's "original" work and you will know just how much he obsesses over this series.

Part 2 opens with...

Torturer stretched slowly, each movement as a test of his body. Joints clicking in place, implants writhing under the skin like metallic worms buried deep in the flesh, the faint creak of muscle tissue being pumped full of blood - all the sounds coiled into a melody praising his physique. The inevitable pain that stemmed from the newly healed wounds only added to the delightful feeling of restoring. His body was working. Flawlessly.

Torturer stretching? And being flawless?

So right off the bat we are met with Torturer slapping Razorwire's shit in an apparent sparring match, and we get the sense that it's been a while since the titanic hours-long "battle". Torturer probably booked it from Grexx faster than a basilisk on water, and his wounds are healing, so we can assume it's been at least a few days since his faux-battle with Cailean.

At least, I think he's fighting Razorwire. Might be he's not. This passage is a tad confusing.

Stimulants rolled lazily down his veins, granting confidence and elation. Adding to the satisfaction was a long moan from the farthest corner of the training hall. The Noise Raptor slowly strode down to the hulked mass obscured by the shadow, and with a movement of his foot flung something away from it. A training battlehammer clacked on the floor, smearing blood across it. The Chaos Marine kneeled down and cocked his head to a side.

"Subordination, Razorwire. What I really should do…" Torturer picked up the heavy weapon and observed its bloodstained working surface. "Is take this and hammer the notion right into your head. Right? Because that's what any normal leader does when faced with such irreverence."

He heard the Havoc spit out blood and shift, trying to get up and continue the sparring, and promptly brought the hammers head into Razorwires outstretched arm. The force of the hit was enough for bone to let out a sickly "crack".

 Torture-Device is, recognizably, a far better writer than WalkingMaelstrom, and he makes the distinction of actually calling Razorwire a havoc, not a devastator, something which has irked me greatly these last several parts. But the problem is still that his English is atrocious, and it can become very weird, very quickly.

So the author takes the next several pages to shed a bit of light on the behavior of his self-insert, and sure enough he's all moody because he "lost" to some dumb stain of a psyker. From the narration, it is further implied to us that Torturer's ship is alive and completely out of the crew's control.

Such actions would disturb the "Engine of Obscenity." That was undesirable. Who knew where she would take them when angered?

Further, it seems he is going around without a gellar field on his ship, which begs the question how he has not been utterly swallowed. The warp is a fickle place.

And another thing!

The paragraphing is uncanny in Torture-Device's writing. He has lines that are separated by single spaces and then some sections are double-spaced, and while I usually prefer double spacing because of how easier it is to distinguish between lines.

But with Torture-Device, he's going between the two interchangeably, and it doesn't work.

During the flight, the only human that that was forced to bear the full weight of Torturers dysphoria as he had to remain glued to the commanding bridge, was the Captain.

Torturer knew how to pilot a small fighter ship, like the one he hijacked from the Blood Disciples.

Note the complete non sequitur there. But that paragraph is then followed a couple spaces down with:

But the "Engine of Obscenity" was a big, Infidel raider vessel, a home for 91 mortal entities, basically a floating cathedral crammed full of weapon systems, praying chambers, generators and warp drives. He had no ability to submit and pilot such a ship, so every time he'd reach the peak of his frustration with Captain Tarregus, he'd back off well knowing that the latter is too vital an object. And Captain Uthark Tarregus was a brave man.

  That particular paragraph just goes on without any spacing at all. Torture-Device does not know how to make text presentable.
You must give it to him, he knows how to craft a scene at the least, but that's all I can really grant after several misspellings, tense-shifts, comma splices, comma misuses, improper capitalizations, quotation mark-abuses, and on and on.

So later, Torturer goes to visit Zekkel, and then is polite enough to remind us he has functioning naughty bits.

"This…"  he returned to the capsule and shook the piece of flesh in Torturers direction. "Is so you, isn't it? You should agree, definitely should."

"She sucked me dry, I granted her a quick death." Torturer smiled slightly beneath the mask. He thought of a small box, full of blood-red, slightly shimmering jewels. It was getting fuller with each day as he pulled an Eldar slave out of a holding cell. He always found their soulstones, despite their attempts to hide them in most peculiar places, even within their own natural orifices. But he, Torturer, had a real hound nose for the soulstones.

 
Am I seeing this wrong, or was it just implied Torturer sticks his nose up craftworlder asses?

How gauche! And yet arousing.

I should point on something of an oddity. Torturer insists he have order and respect in his warband, despite being knee-deep in debauchery for the sake of She Who Thirsts. As if the Chaos gods were anything but chaotic! Any traitor space marine pact I've ever encountered was a rag-tag mess of men all ready to cut one-another's throats, stayed only by the promise of better riches through cooperation.

And Zekkel is revealed to be the absolute master of bad insults:

"Assault on the loyalist fleabags – total success, it was!"

 You're really cool, Zekkel. Calling people fleabags.

Torturer is apparently in need of cheering up, which is why he is seeing Zekkel. If anything, I suppose the "demagogue" is good for that. Their conversation largely revolves around Zekkel consoling Torturer, because the "noise raptor" is depressed at having not killed a Librarian.

And this is where suddenly, I sense something is horribly wrong.

"I nearly get killed! Had Tarregus and is men fail to teleport me, my brains would be splattered all over that warp-forsaken rock!"

Torturer and the Sick Six were flown away in a random Thunderhawk in Symphony of Chaos part 2, not teleported! Could it be that Torture-Device isn't actually reading from WalkingMaelstrom's writing? I'm beginning to think so. The two write so differently from one-another that these sorts of contradictions and retcons make reading even more difficult than it already was.

This becomes even more worrying when we shift to Cailean's perspective, who we must hear from because unfortunately someone somewhere (a certain author) insists he is the greatest opposition to Torturer there is.

The Librarian though, knew nothing of the hate the Interrogator bore for him and his kind. Probably he wouldn't even care if he knew. He was consumed by his own brand of loathing, and after he pushed a ragged curtain away to reveal a trio of tied up cultists clustered under the watchful barrels of two Stormtroopers, that somewhat pleasing feeling inflated in his chest. One of the troopers turned to the Space Marine, mouth agape in amusement and stammered, greeting him.

"Your Hi-highness, b-but, Lieutenant Ksi-Xin… She h-ha…had orders… "

Cailean's stare lacked any of the paternal softness often attributed to the god-like marines, and Trooper Rale felt himself a sizzling away insect as the Librarian towered over him, the golden eagle on his helmet scratching at the piece of ferrocrite plating above them. In a second, all his desire to follow Xin's, or anyone else's orders, if they were in disagreement with the marine's wishes, evaporated. He lowered his eyes and stepped away, somewhat shaken. Two other marines, Veridus and Seo followed, and soon the small compartment, hastily built up, was completely crammed. Pain hissed behind the Astartes' backs that he's got full rights to the heretics and that he, as the Lady Inquisitor's Interrogator, should be doing the questioning first, but no one listened to him.

When did Cailean become so utterly frightening? This is a completely different character from what we saw last part, let alone in WalkingMaelstrom's writing! Somewhere along the lines he gained a loathing for mortals and a murderous rage, as opposed to his conveniently-timed exclamatory battle-anger.

My favorite part of that, though is how the storm trooper (once again, battle-scarred badass) is gaping in amusement. Apparently he found Cailean so ridiculous he could not physically summon laughter.

With a psychic hood like that, who can blame the trooper?

And then it begins to get really weird.

The Librarian felt his lips form an unpleasant smile. Crying. The woman should've cried a long time ago, the very moment when the thought of turning away from the Emperor's light crossed her mind. Now, however, it was time to reap the fruit of it, so why cry? This world, thought Cailean, would much better, if people learned to accept the consequences. People. These, however, were people no more. With such a conclusion, he grabbed the technician heretic by the cuff of his collar and hoisted him in the air, for better eye contact. The woman cried and attempted to stand up, but the barrel of an autogun stuck in her ear made her sit back again.

Then the point of view quite suddenly shifts to the cultist he's just lifted up, Ioruk Korr, who we are told was so excited to fight space marines he looked up how to beat them on the holonet. No, I refuse to even comment on this supposed holonet.

Cailean casually crushes his neck and moves on to the next one, with a smile that makes even me uncomfortable. Seo then appears and grows perturbed by the epistolary's behavior. He insists the Inquisition be left to finish interrogating the cultists, but Cailean simply laughs at him.

"You know what I can do to these worthless little animals? Can the Inquisition do this?"

He looked back at Lynn once. With a flick of his wrist, the channeled psychic energy that he had been harboring coursed down his arm. It was painful.

The reality was that he was completely drained and exhausted in the previous battle and the attempt to perform exorcism on the Death Spirits' Chaplain. Now, releasing the last stored energy felt like tearing veins away from his body, like some force had sliced him open and ripped his nerves out. His arteries bulged and darkened from the effort, the hood sending sparks flying from the overload. But at the same time, it was needed.

It took upon the form of electricity, as nearly always. Cailean sensed the lightning lick at his palm and then dash at the victim of his righteous fury.

Lynn went up in flames. The agony was instant as the tied up woman began burning alive, enveloped in shroud of what appeared to be pulsing azure flames that seemed to rapidly shred layer after layer of the exposed skin and cloth of the captured woman.

The Inquisitorial troopers jumped away and even the Exorciatior went aghast at the sight of the heretic's flesh melting and popping under the force of the psychic fire. Trooper Rale raised his gun to put an end to the screaming woman, but Cailean, upon noticing that, steered the gun's barrel away from Lynn. He wouldn't allow someone to intervene in the moment when vengeance took its place. All the time, he'd been watching the woman, tracking her thoughts. It was all pain, pure pain, and not an ounce of repentance. He gritted his teeth. All useless, all the same. But on another level – it was sure nice to see things fall back in order. It somehow patched up that hole in his mind, the hole that lead to a place he preferred not to think about.

There are no words.

---~~~---

Well, that left me wondering who's really the good guy in this series. That may have been Torture-Device's intent, though. The idea that he might have accomplished his goal scares me.

It would appear my language grows coarser with each passing review. I attribute this to the asinine nature of this series and the constant feeling I'm being quietly insulted.

I need a break to take the edge off of this. Dear Lelith is performing tomorrow night, so hopefully that will make for a rejuvenating experience. Seeing her lithe form, spinning and sailing through sprayed gore and severed limbs, her hair flowing and clattering with the jingle of a hundred blades as blood splatters onto those high cheekbones and showers her exposed form...

Simply beautiful.

The thought of seeing Lelith's dance of death makes me randy. I might have to call up that harlequin and his mate that Ilathin mentioned. I am told they can do wonderful things with their contortions.

Ta ta, my sweet little readers!

- V.