Peregrination part 1

In which the Supreme Overlord gets down with it...

Story: Peregrination part 1
Author: SemperFiTRex/WalkingMaelstrom

 This blogpost brought to you by the Ding Dong Song.

And I'm serious about that. Given the aforementioned "gay fencing" scene, I had attempted to theme this post entirely off of Günther's smashing decadence.

That, however, did not work, as Peregrination, Pt. 1 is horrendously boring overall. In the process I did however discover that I am able to subsist off of his voice alone. I must immediately find a way to exploit this.

Those are details for me to work out in private. As for you, dear reader, you have a wonderful world of insanity to delve into.

I would like to comment on something: I noticed when inserting the download-link for this part that it has apparently been renamed: it was originally Preparation, pt. 1. This persists in the download link title, but on Deviantart the name comes up as Peregrination, pt. 1.

Now, why is it that Lelith and I refuse to share the direct link to these stories on the site? Well, we use the "download file" option for a number of compounded conveniences.

1. Deviantart has abominably annoying advertisements for non-paying subscribers, and these have occasionally been observed to be virally lethal. It is not in our interest to subject you to this.
2. The format presented by the download link is print-friendly for anyone who seriously wants to subject themselves to this, and is frankly much more readable than Deviantart's subdued green-grey color-scheme.
3. It doesn't promote WalkingMaelsoth in any way. That was a big thing for us initially - a lot of Deviants will do anything to get views on their artwork or their pages, and we wanted to keep this to a minimum with the writing we mock. It appears that, as of this current time, Deviantart does not track off-site linkage in its count of downloads. If you do not visit the artist's page, then you have contributed absolutely nothing to his attention-whoring.

Not that WalkingMaelstrom has really demonstrated himself an attention whore. Not as far as we can see, beyond pouring vast USD into artwork of characters he's convinced people besides himself give a damn about.

Well, except for these sick people.

But then, I suppose even the worst books have their fans.

The armory was always one of his favorite places to be.  It made him feel complete with purpose and design.  Devastators.  They were the tempest of the Emperor's Justice, the sledgehammer to the surgical knife that was the Adeptus Astartes.  He couldn't recall what brought him to such a calling, but the feel of the heavy weaponry in his hands was made to feel as if it was an extension of his own body, the way the Mechanicus and Techmarines felt with their additions.  He was never one to inflate his ego with the spirituality of it all, a born realist in the harsh life that was his childhood in the hive city.

 My reaction to this opening passage was succinct and poetic:

This is now the fifth character introduction where we do not hear the individual's name for...

Let's see...

One page...

One paragraph...

 Lope Angelico took particular pride in that endeavor, a wider grin evidence of.

 One-and-one-sixth pages. If you count the introductions of Cailean and Torturer in Vessel of His Wrath, that is the fifth instance where a new character is not given any sort of name for an incredible span of time.

And then I guess WalkingMaelstrom could not be damned to finish his own sentence. Again. Or edit. Again. This is getting really tedious and I am sorry for it, but it seems even WalkingMaelstrom is losing the patience to bother with maintaining his work. That's not a good sign: it means he is losing interest in this project of his by this point, although the large amount of work we still have to go through before we are up-to-date with this series is still substantial.

The writing breaks into a description of some character traits that would be better-off shown than told: we're informed that, while Lope Angelico is "generally a cynic amongst his brothers" he is compassionate enough to... not kill people in cross-fire? "In the wrong place at the wrong time" is the phrase used, but in the context it seems to be referring to a tyranid invasion, which means the presence of all that juicy biomass was precisely the thing that attracted the tyranids to whatever world was caught in this controversy.

If I had been in the Inquisitor's place I would have just dropped the cyclone missiles while the Paladins were evacuating. Maybe then we could have had an interesting story instead about the fallout between the Inquisition, the High Lords of Terra, the Imperial Paladins, other space marines and the man who signed the order in his blood.

But no. Instead we have compassionate cynics who are also spies.

The search for penis continues.

WalkingMaelstrom shows a peculiar obsession for naming individual weapons which each space marine wields that, while admittedly interesting for depth's sake, is a potential seven-car pileup waiting to happen as we are overrun by Nulli Secundum and Verdugo and Impavidus and Spes.

After a lackluster attempt to generate tension with numerous lines talking about how fully half the Chapter is convinced Cailean is in need of a bullet to his brain-casing, the innuendo begins:

"Indeed.  I'm off for weapons training as instructed by Brother-Sergeant Seo.  After all," he cockily hoisted Verdugo to chest's length, "I have a status to maintain amongst my Devastator brethren."

 He needs to shoot his big weapon onto all those targets so that he doesn't get all stiff while serving with Cailean.

The room smelled of dried sweat, blood,

And semen,

 and incense stuck upon the walls. 

No, I'm serious, this shit is golden. Cailean apparently goes to meet with Seo, and talks with him, resulting in this:

Cailean shook it off for the sake of his friend's concerns. "I am healthy, if that is what you mean.  My meditation was a might troublesome.  There was venting to be done.  I am focused now."

"Well, I will be done momentarily to talk if…"

Cailean raised his hand to stop him.  "No, no.  I tire of walking and talking.  I have done too much of that already in the passing days since the Inquisition's arrival.  We can have our discussion while we enjoy something else."

"Something else would be?"

Cailean had removed the upper half of his tunic, stepping into the ring and having fresh memories flow into his cortex, days of youth and a budding friendship amongst him and the sergeant.  In his hand he carried three wooden poles, one approximately the size of him and the other two as long as his arms.  He threw those two to Seo who caught them with both arms open, twirling them with ease.  The Librarian could see a faint grin from the corner of his friend's lips.  "Why don't we have ourselves a spar?"

Seo chortled but huffed with an air of seriousness. "No psyker tricks."

"Heh, not this time.  We're not boys anymore."

 Oh, my tralala is definitely being touched right now. It was difficult to find a point to actually start copying this from, because their entire conversation is foreplay.

In fact, if I just do a little bit of editing to the writing I could sell this as erotica...

Squaring off, the two circled around the ring, Cailean's fingers spinning the staff slowly and defensively.  Seo's arms brought themselves to a stance, "swords" poised to strike.  He noticed his friend's posture, as if he was waiting for him to attack first.  Cailean was always deceptive in this way, since the two had been staring at each other for a good minute or two.  

"Just what are you up to, Cailean?  You're usually the one to get this going without a moment's notice." Another minute passed and Seo boiled with anticipation.  Cailean just continued to flow with the staff in his hands.  Then in a surprise pivot, Seo had angled himself to make a leap, but he made a critical error as he shifted his weight.

He blinked for too long.  

When his eyes opened, he saw Cailean already closing the distance halfway through, his weapon ready to deliver a hard blow to the midsection.  Seo turned his body and missed the attack by scant inches, Cailean passing him and with an exposed back, Seo readied again for his own attack.  However before he could he could the staff swept at his feet forcing him to jump.  A hard smack jarred his head as Cailean pivoted, turned, and swung the staff right into the side of his friend's head, forcing him back a good distance.

... Actually, nevermind, I don't need to edit this.

I don't really know what to say to this. I'm rather astounded by the fact this comes out of a series Torture-Device, a man with a burning hatred for the "homogays", contributes to.

"Maybe!" A surprise attack had Seo stumbling forward from the heavy blow of Cailean's staff to his back, Cailean stuck in pose for a few seconds letting his friend recover.  "Your thoughts are distracted, and I know why.  Mayhap you'd do better if you simply imagined him as me."

"What do…you speak of?" Seo rushed forward and slammed his two weapons upon his opponent's staff, both blocked but then leaving Cailean exposed for another slice attack across his side.  Seo followed up with a kick to the other side that had Cailean planting the staff into the sand.  He found his arms bound though as Cailean gripped both wrists and forced him to let go.  Seo reluctantly did so with intense pain from the superhuman strength tightening around them, but made a brash move with a head butt to Cailean's temple, the pain rocking the both of them backwards.  But Cailean did not let up, launching punch after punch that Seo struggled to block, the same happening with roles reversed.  Punch for punch, block for block, the two moved in synch with the reminiscence of their younger years as a mere Lexicanicum and a newly initiated battle brother.  

"I think you know…" grabbing Seo's arm he launched him across the ring, the sergeant recovering with an agile somersault, "what I mean.  You hunger for an opponent, Hyun.  It is the heretic."

Seo rushed at him and spun his leg around in a fierce roundhouse, easily blocked but opening the door for a kick to the back of the knee, causing Cailean to buckle.  His punch was blocked by Cailean's hand however.  "Again, I don't…"

"But I do!"  Cailean brought forth another barrage of punches that were either deflected or landed just gracing blows, before managing to land a blow on Seo's arms which were already poised for a block, the man staggering backwards again.  "The sergeant…Hyun…that warpshit sergeant!  I know you…want a piece of him again!"

The words struck a chord with the Brother-Sergeant.  Cailean did indeed know exactly what was on his mind and more specifically, who.  "You speak no lies, brother," His hand chopped through the air and landed right at the his friend's sternum, which then was followed by a quick kick to the side which made him almost fall to a knee, "but I think one should also look inward before making such claims!"

Cailean roared and deflected the next kick from Seo, punching him to the ground.  He leapt back to grab his staff and without warning raised it overhead to land upon his friend.  Seo rolled to the side and continued to dodge his attacks until he could position himself to grab his weapons again.  The two stared at each other once more, pontificating the next strategy of offense, mutual respect amongst them as neither had completely secured an advantage.  Cailean flicked the blood from the corner of his lips and chucked.  "In due time, brother, both of us shall get our fill in due time."

 Is WalkingMaelstrom secretly gay? I haven't seen anything this gay since Kajet's videos returned to YouTube.

No, seriously, more than a few things are currently being grasped at this moment. I don't really have to do anything to make fun of this because it certainly does itself.

Seo, hiding his concern, laughed at Cailean's vigor.  "I…heh…haven't seen that fight in you, in some time."

Cailean chuckled back with a fiery grin.  "Never dies, my friend, but stays dormant…for the right moment."

The two circled the ring again.  "It is no wonder the boy looks up to you."

"Verdius?  An exemplary Space Marine so far."

"He still stings from the blow, though."

Oh Muses, this is killing me!

So after a completely useless flashback, Seo and Cailean criticize one-another and Seo admits some concern over Cailean's rapidly deteriorating sanity. Inquisitor Tina is also mentioned, and to mine and Lelith's great amusement Trooper Hallock Pillock is called "that young, brave brave trooper".

I also seem to have zoned out at some point because this sorta of just slammed into me like a dump truck:

Seo pointed to a tattooed inscription along his arm, running down from the shoulder to his triceps in large black font.  "Remember it, Cailean, remember 'kyou-ouh ishin,' for me and the chapter."

What the fuck does that even mean? I at least think it's Japanese, and that alone irritates me.

Ugh. My gorge is rising. Cailean presumably moves to another ship to speak with Chief Librarian Dinotus, and actually makes himself useful by giving his fellow Librarians information on the Sick Six.

"Brothers, I want to bring to your attention the support aspects of the 'Sick Six.'  They are these two right here." Pushing a button by the side of the marble table enhanced the images of the hideously scarred marine and the enigmatic masked one, "The first is named Razorwire.  He is their designated heavy bolter specialist.  This particular brute is, as the name implies, the blunt trauma to the group's surgical precision.  He alone accounted for several of the deaths of the Ordo Malleus stormtroopers, perhaps more than any other enemy that day.  I came face-to-face with this 'Razorwire,' and while I must admit while my rage I had easily bested him, he derived a sick pleasure from it, as compared to the others.  He is boisterous and ultimately deadly, likely one to help this Six establish choke points and be the suppressive fire.  It seems his thrill is for pain and combat, nothing more.  As for the other, he had addressed himself as Foerx Fume.  What bothers me particularly of this one, brothers, was the very description of himself as a vessel of another of the Ruinous Powers."

 I failed to mention, however, it is incredibly useless information.

Dinotus isn't helping matters with the fact the Librarians are referring to him as "Father" either.

But that's it, really. Nothing else happens in this chapter beyond Cailean debriefing on what happened.

But then...

He turned to the rest.  "Continue your research to the best of your ability, brothers.  Any and all information can be pertinent to the Fourth Company.  I will take my leave.  Epistolary Cailean, join me."

"As you wish, Father."

Dodging the looks from the others, he made his way to the left side of Dinotus, past the doors of the Librarium and to the halls of the Chief Librarian's quarters.

---~~~---
 
 Well. That was more effort than I was intending.

But Günther helped me along quite nicely. And all this gay fencing has me in the mood.

Lelith isn't performing tonight. Maybe I should go pay her a visit...

Or, I could invite over that riveting shadowseer from Eyandros's Troupe. He certainly knew how to make things go "bump" in the night.

Or maybe both of them at once... that's certainly enough excitement to fill a week, let alone an evening.

Well, I'm off to see if I can't get my ding ding dong touched. Toodles, Kabalites!

- V.